I guess it is right to say that we have all been stepping out of our comfort zone the second we left our mother's womb. Seeing my uncle on his death bed a few days ago reminded me that I will be making another step out of my comfort zone. The thought that it could be my father someday frightens me very much. While I have issues with my parents, I cannot deny that they are a stabilizing influence in my life. The base that I depend on as I take my turn to step into the real world. But now I have to accept the fact that someday they will not be around to give me guidance. I might be on the steps of the age of 30, however I still feel that I am naive to what the world holds. My uncle's passing last Saturday makes him my second uncle to succumb to cancer in less than three years. It is ironic that he represented my parents on my Engagement Day as he led my family's party to my fiance's home. At the time he looked healthy and I did not know he was ill recently until my dad informed that he was hospitalized around last week.
By the time I saw him in ICU last Friday, my uncle was already in a bad state. My cousins and their husbands were understandably sad, their eyes already swollen after crying so much. My cousin explained to me about her father's condition calmly but I know she is struggling inside. The doctor had said that there was not much hope him as his cancer was already at an advanced stage. My aunt also looked calm but she soon broke into tears when she stood beside her dying husband's bed after we broke fast. The relative silence of the ward and seeing my uncle dying also moved me to tears eventually as I looked at him through the glass door of his room. I decided to recite a doa for him when I stood beside his bed. It is sad to see a dying person especially if he is your flesh and blood. My uncle had been close to my family as my late grandmother took him in as a step son, so my mum considers him to be her younger brother. I like my uncle because of his easy going character and a good father to his children, all of whom are happily married. But at the end of it, the question of whether I am able to face the situation if it was my own father on the deathbed remains to be answered. It is a frightening thought because it truly means I have to face the world on my own. My wedding day will surely miss his presence. We will miss you, Wak Noor.
By the time I saw him in ICU last Friday, my uncle was already in a bad state. My cousins and their husbands were understandably sad, their eyes already swollen after crying so much. My cousin explained to me about her father's condition calmly but I know she is struggling inside. The doctor had said that there was not much hope him as his cancer was already at an advanced stage. My aunt also looked calm but she soon broke into tears when she stood beside her dying husband's bed after we broke fast. The relative silence of the ward and seeing my uncle dying also moved me to tears eventually as I looked at him through the glass door of his room. I decided to recite a doa for him when I stood beside his bed. It is sad to see a dying person especially if he is your flesh and blood. My uncle had been close to my family as my late grandmother took him in as a step son, so my mum considers him to be her younger brother. I like my uncle because of his easy going character and a good father to his children, all of whom are happily married. But at the end of it, the question of whether I am able to face the situation if it was my own father on the deathbed remains to be answered. It is a frightening thought because it truly means I have to face the world on my own. My wedding day will surely miss his presence. We will miss you, Wak Noor.
